What Grief Does To A Luthor
by Hidden Heart 92
Summary: Lena Luthor is starting to feel things, things she didn't think she'd be feeling and certainly not for a certain blonde Danvers sister
1. Chapter 1

**WHAT GRIEF DOES TO A LUTHOR**

 **Author's Note- Hi guys, so after piecing together some stuff from clips and things I've read on the internet, my faith in Supercorp (which i admit was wavering a little) has been restored! Yay! So here's my new one for you guys, hope you enjoy!**

 **I own nothing, all rights belong to their respectful owners.**

 **Summary- Lena is beginning to feel things again, things she'd considered long since dead, and the object of her new-found affection? A certain Danvers sister with a penchant for saving the people of National City.**

* * *

 **1**

Kara breezed into Lena Luthor's office, a big smile on her face and a skip in her step.

Lena rolled her eyes as her friend smiled at her.

"I really should've revoked that whole 'Miss Danvers is to be shown in whenever possible' thing." She drawled.

Kara's smile remained in place.

"Oh, don't be like that. I said I was going to cheer you up and this is what I'm here to do."

Lena sighed and sat back in her chair.

"Yes, which you have been doing every day now for the past two weeks."

"And we have fun, right?" Kara said enthustiastically.

The tiniest of smiles tugged at the corner of Lena's lips.

"There you go!" Kara cheered as Lena tried her best to bite back the smile.

Kara went over to Lena's coat rack and grabbed her coat, tossing it to the Luthor woman.

"Come on, let's go cheer you up."

"Again." Lena muttered as she put her coat on.

Kara pouted a little.

She knew Lena was always a little moody before they went out but still, it sounded like she was getting tired of all this.

"Look, I'm doing this to cheer you up but if it's getting too much, I'll back off, it's not a problem."

Lena walked around her desk and smiled into her friend's eyes.

"It's not too much, Kara. It's just...how I feel, but you're right, as soon as we do...whatever it is we're doing, I'll be fine." She said awkwardly, because to be honest, she never knew what Kara had planned. The girl seemed to have a different activity for them to do each day!

Kara had taken some time off to do this for Lena and the Luthor woman was eternally grateful. As much as she moaned about it, she was relieved that she didn't have to deal with this on her own, it was comforting to have a friend in a city where she felt like an alien.

Once they were outside L Corp and in Lena's chauffeur driven car, Kara told the driver where they were going and Lena was still oblivious to what was going on. So she sat back and waited to see where they were going.

Lena was naturally curious, so she couldn't help asking questions but Kara didn't give in and tell her. She kept saying that she would just have to be patient, something that Lena wasn't.

Eventually, the car stopped and Kara got out, turning to look up at the building.

Lena looked too and then looked back at the Danvers sister.

"A zoo?"

Kara nodded.

"Pretty cool, huh?"

Lena looked back at it again.

"We've already been here before, you know that, right?"

Kara nodded and walked around to Lena's side, looping her arm through the Luthor woman's own.

"Yes, but last time they didn't close it to the public just so the famous Lena Luthor could walk around it." Kara said with a smile.

Lena's eyes widened.

"You're not serious?"

Kara nodded happily.

It hadn't been difficult; all she had to do was to drop Lena's name and that was it, instant access.

"Kara...that's amazing!"

Kara smiled even brighter than before.

"I'm glad you like it. They also said that they are going to let you into the enclosure with the monkeys!"

 _God, she was like a child_. Lena thought but the warm feeling in her chest surprised her and she smiled a little at it. It was probably only gratitude at having someone do something nice for her.

Lena walked with Kara into the zoo and they looked around at all the animals without Lena having to worry about photographers and the press following her every move.

Yes, they had seen the animals before but Lena was more relaxed now and her mood was gradually lifting.

Kara watched as the lions walked around, even they seemed more relaxed.

Lena commented on the snakes and the wolves and how beautiful they looked even if they were in cages.

They then reached the monkey enclosure and two keepers came out and told them that they would be in with a few marmosets.

"The little black and white squeaky ones?!" Kara squealed excitedly and Lena rolled her eyes good naturedly.

The keeper nodded and then both of them took them in to the enclosure.

They both took a seat on the little boulders that were placed there purely for decoration.

A few of the little ones came down, a little curious to having people in their enclosure and one was brave enough to jump on up Kara's knee.

Kara smiled and talked to the little guy in that strange baby voice that some people make when talking to babies and animals.

Lena watched as Kara held her hand out and the monkey held onto it with his tiny paw.

The Luthor watched Kara's expression, she saw how happy she was and Lena felt that warm feeling in her chest again. This time it wasn't gratitude. She was happy because Kara was happy. Lena liked it when Kara smiled and she suddenly wanted to do everything in her power to make sure that that smile never left her face. That was normal to want that for a friend, right? To be reason that Kara was happy?

Lena straightened and looked around the enclosure to distract herself, suspecting that these 'feelings' were not all she had told herself they were.

"Lena, isn't this amazing?" Kara whispered, afraid that anything loud might scare the monkey away.

Lena turned her head, nodded and her smile mirrored Kara's.

"You have such a nice smile." Lena said softly and without thinking.

Kara looked at her and the smile faltered but only a little before she turned her attention back to the monkey.

Lena turned her head away and her green eyes widened.

 _Did I really say that out loud? I need to watch that_. Lena thought worriedly.

The keeper said that they seemed to like Kara, and Kara's smile brightened even more than it had done before, if that was possible.

* * *

After Lena had thanked the staff and everyone at the zoo, they left and went to get lunch at one of those posh places that Lena loved so much.

They took their seats at the back of the restaurant.

"So did you enjoy today?" Kara asked Lena while they waited for their food.

Lena nodded as she sipped at her wine.

"I really did. Thank you, Kara."

"You're welcome. At least it cheered you up."

Lena nodded.

"It really did."

"Did you want to talk about anything?"

"You mean Jack?" Lena guessed.

Kara nodded but the smile had slipped from her face.

This was how it was though, every day. Kara would take Lena to some place to take her mind off of it and then she would ask the Luthor if she wanted to talk about it, just to clear her mind of anything that still might be plaguing her, which it usually was. She would sometimes ask questions about it, depending on how Lena seemed.

"I loved Jack but I had to make a choice. Him or Supergirl."

Kara frowned slightly.

"Why did you choose Supergirl?"

Lena shrugged and her eyes took on that faraway look.

"I don't know...just something told me to, I guess. Jack couldn't be saved and maybe on some level, I knew that."

"Maybe, but Jack's death? It wasn't your fault, you know that."

"I chose Supergirl, Kara. It doesn't matter now." Lena said and her tone was a little harsh.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up."

Lena sighed.

"No, I'm sorry. You're only trying to help, I understand that. I suppose the reason I didn't think I could save Jack is because the technology was too advanced. I wouldn't have known where to start."

Lena thought back.

That hadn't been the only reason she'd chosen Supergirl.

Supergirl was important to Kara, and Kara was important to Lena. It was as simple as that, but Lena wasn't ready to admit that to the woman sitting across from her and she didn't know if she'd ever be ready.

Kara wanted to tell Lena that she would've thought of something eventually but she knew that would only hurt her, instead of helping her to see things in a more positive light.

"So...what's new at L Corp?" Kara asked, unsure of what to say next.

Lena raised an eyebrow in Kara's direction.

"You ask me this everyday, Kara. It's the same as always."

"So nothing new." Kara said, confirming what Lena had been telling her every day for the past two weeks.

"You know, Kara, today has been great and I've really enjoyed myself but-"

Kara looked down at the table.

"-This is the part where you bail." She said slowly, trying to keep a somewhat kind smile on her face but she couldn't help put feel disappointed.

Lena bit her lip.

"Yeah...I'm sorry."

"It's OK. I suppose you want to go back to your office and look at old pictures of you and Jack, and mope about how you might've been able to save him if only you hadn't chosen Supergirl."

Lena blinked.

She didn't expect that kind of tone or talk from Kara, the most caring, sweet-natured woman she knew.

Kara stood, throwing a few bills onto the table even though their lunch hadn't even arrived yet.

"Kara-"

"It's fine, Lena. I have some stuff to do too."

But Lena knew it was anything but fine.

Kara was probably feeling as though her efforts to cheer her friend up were not working because every day ended up the same; Lena would go back to L Corp or home.

Lena stood as Kara grabbed her bag.

"Kara, wait-"

"No, it's fine. Honestly. This is what you do. I get it."

Lena frowned slightly.

"Kara, I can't help the way I'm feeling."

"Look, I'm not saying to get over it somehow but what I am saying is to stop torturing yourself. What happened to Jack wasn't your fault and there was probably no way that you could've saved him."

Lena looked down. How could she explain to Kara that it wasn't Jack that was making her unhappy? That the real reason she had started bailing at first had been because of her guilt over Jack, but now it was something different and there was no way that she could tell Kara that she was confused about her new-found feelings.

Lena Luthor had been taught that feelings didn't come into anything if she wanted to be successful, so she had locked those feelings away.

Even when she was with Jack, she hadn't given him her all. She had kept some things back, afraid that if she threw herself completely into the relationship and it broke down, her heart would be even more broken that it was when she had left him to come to National City.

But now, Kara had shown her that she didn't have to be afraid, she'd told her that she could trust her and that she wasn't going anywhere, and little by little, Lena had begun to feel things and it scared her.

Now she didn't know what to do.

Kara stood there, waiting to see if Lena looked up. She didn't.

Kara sighed and left with Lena still deep in thought, She hadn't even noticed the blonde leave.

* * *

 **Author's Note- Hope you liked this first chapter. Feel free to review. It helps to keep me motivated! :) X**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note- Hi guys, I'm so glad you liked the first chapter and thank you so much for all your comments, they let me know I'm taking this in the right direction.**

 **Hope you enjoy this one!**

* * *

 **2**

Lena sighed as she heard Kara's voice on her voicemail and then the beep.

She'd had this a few times now and she was getting sick of hearing the same thing. Still, it didn't stop her from leaving yet another message.

"Kara, It's Lena...again. Look, I'm really sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I want to make it right. If you want to talk, give me a call. OK...bye."

Lena hung up and sighed as she put her phone down on her desk and stared at the black screen.

She really wanted to see Kara's name flash up but even as she stared at it, she knew it wouldn't.

She sat back and brought a finger to her lips, deep in thought. She really should make more of an effort with Kara, but her own feelings were scaring her. If only Lena could look at this objectively, then she might be able to make it up to Kara somehow.

A smile came to Lena's lips and she got up, grabbing her phone and coat as she headed out of the office.

She glanced at the new executive assistant, Hector.

"Hector, I'm going out for an hour or so...if this all goes well." She added under her breath.

"Oh OK, Miss Luthor. I'll forward all your calls." He called out as she hurried towards the elevator.

"Thank you." She called back as she slipped inside and the elevator doors slid shut.

This had to work...wouldn't it?

* * *

Kara sighed as she went over an article she had previously written. She couldn't stop thinking about how Lena was being lately. Kara understood that she was upset and hurt but why was she taking it out on her? Kara was only trying to help her friend.

Kara tapped her pencil against the notepad and tried to think of something else besides Lena Luthor.

"Um...Kara?"

Kara looked up and her eyes widened behind her glasses.

"Lena...hi, what are you...what are you doing here?" She asked, her face a little stoic.

"Well, I left you a bunch of messages, all of which you have not replied to but I get it." She added quickly when Kara opened her mouth to argue which Lena had been expecting.

Kara closed her mouth again and let Lena talk.

"I realize how I have been and I was hoping that you would maybe accept these from me." Lena said with a nervous smile and holding up a white paper bag.

Kara stood, taking the bag from her and opening it.

She then looked up at Lena; her features had softened and Lena kind of hoped that she was able to get a smile out of her at least.

"Donuts?"

Lena nodded.

"You bought them for me when I was having trouble with my mother and I remember that you liked them too. This is kind of a like a peace offering."

Kara nodded and closed the bag again, finally giving Lena that small smile that the Luthor had been hoping for.

"I suppose you want to talk." Kara said knowingly but not unkindly.

Lena nodded again.

"Yes. I also wondered if you would like to get some lunch with me?"

Kara's smile grew a little.

"Yeah, I think that would be OK."

Lena returned Kara's smile.

"Great. Are you free now?"

Kara nodded.

"Sure, just let me grab my coat."

Lena stood back and waited patiently.

She took a few calming breaths as she waited.

 _Kara is my friend. Just a friend. As long as you keep saying this to yourself, you can do this._ Lena chanted to herself.

Within minutes, Kara was back.

"You ready?"

Lena nodded and they both left the CatCo building and headed out for lunch.

Lena let Kara choose the place and was pleased and kind of nervous to realize that Kara wanted to have lunch in the park.

Lena rolled her eyes as Kara unrolled a blanket under a tree.

"My God, it's like you planned this."

Kara didn't seem phased by this response at all.

"I was going to come out here today anyway."

Lena raised an eyebrow.

"So you just carry a blanket around with you?"

Kara shrugged.

"Well today I did. Didn't you notice the bag I was carrying?"

Lena didn't to be honest, and she just shook her head.

Kara sighed but then a smile lit up her face.

"Look, it's a nice day, the sun is shining-"

"If you say birds are singing-" Lena cut in.

Kara laughed and Lena's serious expression melted into a smile.

"Come on, leave the office persona behind and just relax, okay?"

Lena let out a breath, not really realizing how tensed up she'd been and sat beside Kara on the blanket.

 _She's a friend. She's a friend_. Lena told herself as she felt that warm glow in her chest again.

"So, how has work been?" Lena asked, more to distract herself than anything else.

Kara nodded as she opened the donut bag.

"Yeah, really good thanks. We're actually doing a story on how National city has changed through-out the years."

Lena nodded along, listening.

"Well I think they have Supergirl to thank for that, in a good way of course." Lena added, in case her compliment had come across wrong. She knew that Kara and Supergirl were good friends.

" Yeah, I like to think that she's helped in some small way."

Lena's green eyes widened.

"Small? Kara, she's helped this city in a massive way! Crime is down, people are happy, she's really come through for people and I hope she knows how grateful the people are."

Kara nodded.

"I-she does."

Lena smiled as Kara handed her a donut.

"So what about you? How's L Corp doing?"

Lena nodded.

"You know how we're doing, you ask me this everyday." She said with a kind smile.

Kara nodded her head slowly.

"Right...sorry."

"There's no need to apologize, Kara. If anything, I should be the one apologizing. I was wrong and out of line to speak to you like that yesterday and...I really am sorry."

Kara looked into Lena's eyes and saw how sincere she was being.

"It's alright. We all go through bad patches."

Lena looked at Kara with concealed amazement and once again, she spoke without thinking.

"How do you do that?" She asked, staring at Kara as though she were the most fascinating thing on the planet.

"Do what?" Kara asked, around a mouthful of pastry and jam.

"Be so understanding with people?"

Kara shrugged and licked her lips which had been covered in powdered sugar.

"I just think that...some people act a certain way because of what's happened to them in the past and they deserve a chance to show who they really are."

Lena chuckled and lent forward, wiping a tiny bit of sugar away from the corner of Kara's mouth.

"You've got some-"

Lena stopped as she realized what she was doing.

When she felt Kara's lip beneath her finger, she pulled back quickly, as though Kara's skin had burnt her.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to-"

Kara shrugged, brushing it off, seeing it as nothing more than a friendly gesture.

"It's fine."

Lena looked into Kara's eyes.

Her mind was shouting at her to do something she absolutely knew that she shouldn't but it was difficult to look away.

 _She's your friend! What are you doing?!_ Her brain screamed.

"I don't know..." Lena whispered out loud and then quickly looked down at the blanket.

Kara frowned slightly.

"What don't you know, Lena?"

Lena looked up at Kara, her face sporting an unreadable expression; it reminded Kara of someone who was conflicted. VERY conflicted, although with what Kara didn't know.

"I uh...I'm not sure."

Kara watched as Lena got to her feet, abandoning half of her unfinished donut.

"Lena, are you OK?"

 _No, no I'm not OK. I wish I was, but every time I'm around you, it's like I can't control myself and it's doing things to me that I wish I didn't feel. Ever._ That was what Lena wanted to say but instead, she forced a smile onto her face and looked down at Kara.

"Actually I'm not feeling so great. Can I call you tomorrow and maybe we'll do this some other time?"

Kara nodded but the disappointment on her face was hard to miss and Lena hated that she was reason for it.

"Sure..."

Lena turned away when Kara called out to her.

"Lena?"

The Luthor stopped and turned around slowly.

"Is everything OK? I mean if it wasn't...you would tell me, wouldn't you?"

Lena had that fake smile plastered on again and she nodded.

"Of course, Kara."

Kara nodded that she believed her and watched Lena leave the park.

But Kara didn't believe her.

Maybe Supergirl would get more out of the Luthor than Kara ever could.

It was worth a shot.

* * *

Supergirl came into Lena Luthor's office via the balcony. She remembered that Lena had told her that wasn't really an entrance but that seemed to have slipped the Super's mind as she came to stand beside Lena.

"Lena?"

Lena stood, seemingly shocked.

"Supergirl! What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I was just...keeping an eye on the city and thought I'd see if everything was OK with you."

Lena looked down at the floor as she folded her arms and lent back against her desk.

"You've been talking to Kara." She said knowingly.

Supergirl nodded.

"She's worried about you."

Lena smirked and nodded.

"I'm worried about me too." She muttered.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Supergirl tried.

Lena bit her lip as she thought about it.

"I don't think this is the sort of thing you talk about with your friend's friend." She said awkwardly.

Supergirl frowned a little.

"If you're in trouble then maybe it is." She reasoned and then her frown deepend.

"Are you?"

"In trouble? Yeah..." She breathed.

Supergirl now looked concerned.

"Lena, you have to tell me. I can help you."

Lena raised her eyebrows as she looked away.

"I don't think you can with this."

Supergirl looked serious.

"I can try. I won't let anyone hurt you, Lena. I made a promise to Kara."

At just the mention of her friend's name, Lena flinched.

"Lena?" Supergirl pushed at seeing the Luthor's reaction.

"How long have you known Kara?" She asked suddenly.

Supergirl frowned in confusion.

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"Your loyalty to her would be greater than your loyalty to me, obviously." Lena said, she wasn't being mean, she was stating a fact.

Supergirl wasn't sure where she was going with this, so she listened as Lena continued.

"Whatever I tell you, you will tell Kara."

"Not necessarily."

Lena rolled her eyes.

"You're friends. It's what friends do."

"Why can't you tell Kara?"

"Because...it's to do with her."

Supergirl paused.

"Oh...is she-is she being a bit much with the whole cheering you up thing?"

"Oh God no! No, she's been great! Wonderful, actually. It's just...I told her that when I started to feel things again, it was going to be a very frightening experience for me."

"OK..."

"And well, I have...started feeling things."

Supergirl nodded but she didn't understand.

"And you're scared?"

Lena nodded, thinking that Supergirl was following her train of thought.

"Very. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to act."

"Lena, you don't have to be afraid. Just be who you are. Kara loves you."

Lena's eyes brightened.

"She does?"

Supergirl nodded.

"You're such a good friend to her, Lena. She's never had a friend like you before."

Lena's heart fell as did her expression. She felt tears stinging behind her eyes and she looked down, praying that she could hold them back.

"Friend...right."

"Yeah. You and Kara, you're great with each other. She loves being your friend."

Lena nodded and licked her lips.

Forcing herself to keep strong, she stood up straight and looked at Supergirl.

"Actually, Supergirl, I just remembered that I have some work to finish off so if you wouldn't mind..."

"Oh, of course, sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you-"

"You didn't. I only just remembered it." Lena cut in, following Supergirl out to the balcony.

Supergirl knew that whenever Lena wanted to leave a difficult situation, she always used this excuse, so she knew something was still bothering her.

"Are you sure you're OK though?"

Lena nodded, forcing that fake smile of her's again.

"Absolutely. Tell Kara I'll call her tomorrow."

"O-OK. Goodnight, Lena."

Lena nodded and watched as Supergirl flew into the night sky.

Great. Now Lena was even more conflicted than ever. Kara thought of her as a friend and a friend only. Lena wanted more, she knew that now, but maybe if she could force herself to be a friend rather than a potential love interest, she could get through this.

Well, that was what she hoped anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

She shut herself away. There was nothing else she could do.

Lena had told Kara that she was going to be afraid when she started feelings things again but she hadn't realized just how bad that feeling would be.

Lena had tried. She had called Kara the next day, arranging to meet up but when that time actually came, she bailed, made an excuse and stayed at home.

At times, she hadn't even shown up at work.

Things were getting worse and she couldn't control it.

Kara had tried calling her and she had ignored all her calls.

Hector, her executive assistant had called her and she'd told him she wasn't feeling well.

The only thing left to try was for Supergirl to show up. Again.

Lena had tried all different ways of getting this out of her system but nothing had worked.

She had written it all down on countless pieces of paper that were now scattered on the floor of her apartment. She had tried yoga, exercising, tai-chi, meditating (all in the privacy of her own home of course) but nothing could stop the feeling she was trying so hard to bury.

She missed Kara, yet she couldn't see her. She wanted to hear her voice but knew she would break if she did, and the worst part in all this? She knew Kara didn't and never would, feel the same.

Lena had gotten used to staying in watching crappy daytime TV and not bothering with make up, she even got take-out instead of actually cooking.

She knew what her mother would say if she saw her looking like this.

 _Lena Luthor, what the hell is wrong with you?!_

A deep crease appeared between the Luthor's eyebrows and she got up, going over to her kitchen cabinets and pulling out an extra large bag of chips.

She didn't need her mother's approval or anyone else's for that matter.

She sat back down on her couch with a huff and turned her TV up louder to drown out the thoughts in her head.

Lena hadn't realized that she'd dozed off until a sharp knock came at her door.

She jumped awake, the bag of chips were resting on her stomach and the TV playing was playing some happy families commercial.

She sat up and switched the TV off, hoping that whoever was on the other side of the door would go away.

"Lena?"

 _Kara. Dammit!_

"Lena, I know you're in there!" Kara called.

Lena stayed silent.

"Look, I don't know what's going on with you. Maybe you're taking Jack's death a whole lot harder than I thought and I'm sorry if you are but Lena, please...just talk to me."

Silence.

Lena heard Kara sigh.

"Fine. Y'know what? I'm just going to sit here until you decide to talk or let me in. Either way, Lena, I'm not going anywhere."

Lena rolled her eyes.

Did she have to be so dramatic?

She heard a bag drop and then what she imagined was Kara sitting down, resting back against the door.

"Still not talking?"

 _Nope_. Lena thought, that stubborn streak shining through.

"OK, well I think this is being a little childish. You're an adult and should be able to talk to people. If you think you're so messed up, go see a shrink if you can't talk to me!"

Lena smirked.

Then she heard Kara sigh loudly.

"Lena, I just want to help you."

Lena moved silently to the door and quietly sat down and rested her back against it.

If you could see both sides of the door, Kara and Lena were sitting back to back, only a door separating them.

"You can't..." Lena said softly.

Kara's voice sounded relieved.

"Lena?"

Nothing again.

"Lena, are you there?"

"Yeah...I'm here." Lena replied, her voice still soft and quiet.

"Why don't you think I can help you?" Kara asked, talking slowly.

Lena sighed and rested her head back against the door.

"Because..." Lena couldn't finish her sentence.

"OK, I understand this is hard for you, Lena. I've never seen you like this-well, not so much _seen_ because I can't see you, but you get what I mean." Kara babbled.

Lena smiled warmly.

Kara could be incredibly cute when she babbled.

"I do." Lena answered.

"Anyway, I just want to help but I can't do that if I don't know what's wrong with you." Kara told her gently.

Lena nodded even though she knew Kara couldn't see her.

"Maybe if you started slow. I can't see you, can't reach you. I'm not going to interrupt you or do anything. Just try...please, Lena."

Lena bit her lip and nodded as tears fell down her face. It was better that Kara couldn't see her. If she was going to confess anything, now would be a good a time as any.

"I'm afraid." Lena started, her voice trembling.

"OK, that's a good start. What are you afraid of?"

"Myself. The way I'm feeling." Lena admitted as the tears kept coming.

"Lena, I'm just going to let you talk now, OK? I won't ask any questions. You just say everything as though you're alone. How does that sound?"

"Terrifying."

"I know but you can do this. I know you can."

Lena nodded.

"OK."

Kara waited patiently.

Lena took in a deep breath and then closed her eyes as she let everything she was trying to hold back, come forward.

"I've been feeling differently towards someone. It scares me and I know they don't feel the same. That's what makes this harder because in the past, when someone didn't return how I felt, I could just back away and leave them alone but...I can't. Not this time and Kara, it's killing me."

More tears came and Kara could hear her sobbing. She wanted to kick the door down and wrap her friend in her arms and hug her until all the pain she was feeling went away.

But she had made a promise and as much as it hurt her, she stayed silent, waiting for Lena to say more. Kara was sure there was more.

"I think these feelings have always been there but I had too much to concern myself with so I didn't pay any attention to them. I mean there was that thing with my mother and Cadmus, I got framed and broken out of prison, and then Jack died and since then it's all been...I don't know, but you've helped me so much and I think...that maybe...maybe you've helped me to feel again."

This time, Lena waited to see if Kara would say something.

Lena turned slightly and placed her hand on the door, imaging that Kara was doing the same and feeling a little comfort in that.

"Kara, I don't know how to make you understand so I'm just going to say it; I'm in love with you."

Lena waited but Kara said nothing.

On the other side of the door, Kara sat with her back still to the door, her eyes wide.

Of all the things she had expected Lena Luthor to admit to, she didn't think that would be one of them.

"Kara? You can say something now." Lena said with a nervous chuckle.

Kara swallowed.

How did you respond to something like that? How did Kara feel about it?

Panic suddenly gripped her and she got to her feet as quietly as she could.

She turned away from the door and began creeping along the hallway.

There was a click and Kara squeezed her eyes shut as Lena opened the door behind her and peered out into the hallway.

"Kara?"

Kara bit her lip and opened her eyes, turning back to look at Lena.

Her eyes were red and she looked dejected. Frightened too.

"Lena...I'm sorry but I can't do this right now."

Lena hung her head and nodded slowly.

"It's alright...I understand."

Kara then watched as she went back inside and shut the door quietly.

* * *

 **Author's Note- Thanks guys for all the favorites/follows and reviews, it means a lot! :)**

 **So Kara has ran out on Lena! :o Probably not the best idea considering how hard it was for Lena to open up to her but stay with this and see how Kara deals with it herself.**

 **Lena might not be the only one who has been struggling with something ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

Alex had come round for one of their sister movie nights and she was greeted by an awkward-looking Kara.

"Uh oh."

Kara frowned.

"What do you mean, 'uh oh'?"

"Something's up. You have that look." She replied, handing Kara a tub of ice cream that she'd bought for them to share.

"What look?" Kara asked defensively.

"The 'somethings' on my mind but I'm not going to talk about it because I'm sure Alex has enough on her plate already' look."

Kara's eyes widened. Her sister knew her too well.

"OK, so maybe there is something."

Alex nodded knowingly.

"You can talk to me. Life is good with me, Kara. Ever since Maggie..." Alex trailed off, that dream-like smile when she mentioned the other woman, staying on her face.

"Well...it's just been amazing." She said softly.

Kara had seen how happy Maggie made Alex. Yes, to start off with things were a little emotional; Maggie had said that she liked Alex as a friend and that was that but then things had changed and now her and Alex were a couple.

Kara didn't care what Alex was or who she liked, as long as she was happy, that was good enough for Kara and she knew that Alex felt the same about her.

Alex then shifted her attention back to Kara as she followed the blonde to the couch and they sat down.

"I found something out recently that I wasn't expecting."

Alex nodded that she was listening.

"And?"

"Well...it's about Lena."

"Lena Luthor?"

Kara nodded, biting her lip.

Alex's eyes widened.

"Is she evil?"

"What? No! No, of course she isn't. She's uh...she told me something and I-I didn't handle it very well...I think."

Alex frowned slightly.

"What did she tell you?"

Kara looked down and adjusted her glasses as she re-played Lena's confession over and over in her mind.

"She told me-well, you know how she's been acting a bit strange lately and she shut herself away for a while?"

"Yeah."

"Well it turns out...that was to do with me."

Alex frowned.

"You? What did you do?"

"Nothing! It's all her! Well, I mean I am part of it but she's the one who-"

Alex put a hand on her sister's arm to stop her from babbling.

"Kara, just tell me what she said." Alex said slowly.

Kara sighed and looked up at her sister.

"She said she's in love with me."

Alex stared at Kara for a long while.

Kara could only imagine what was going through her sister's head.

Lena loved her sister, did Kara love Lena? Was she scared? Was she hiding something? Was Kara thinking of cutting off from Lena because she thought maybe she wasn't being fair if she didn't feel the same way?

"Alex?"

"Sorry. I was-"

"Thinking. I know."

Alex nodded.

"And what did you do when she told you that?" Alex asked carefully as she still tried to process what Lena had told her sister.

Kara bit her lip.

"I...I ran-well no, I didn't but I walked away from her. I told her I couldn't do this right now and I...I left."

Alex closed her eyes.

She remembered when she'd come out to Maggie- _for_ Maggie-and how rejected she'd felt. She could sympathize with Lena now. Well, with this anyway. There still wasn't any concrete evidence that she wasn't evil, only that she was Kara's friend and had helped her and Supergirl out a few times in the past, but then if Lena was in love with Kara, that only stood to reason.

"Alex?"

Alex blinked.

"Sorry, I was thinking again."

Kara nodded in understanding.

"I don't know what to do." Kara told her sister.

"Have you spoken to her since?"

Kara shook her head.

"And how long ago was this?"

"A month ago."

"A month?! Kara can you imagine how she must be feeling?!"

"I know, I know. I screwed up! I don't know what to do anymore, Alex!"

"Do you feel the same?"

The question shocked Kara and she went quiet.

"Kara?"

"I've-I've never really thought about it."

"Well think about it now. When Lena told you she loved you, how did you feel?"

Kara looked at something behind Alex as she thought about it.

She didn't have to hide anything. This was Alex she was talking to. She wouldn't judge her. She had nothing to be afraid of.

"Scared." Kara admitted.

"Why scared?"

"Because...I don't know."

"Yes you do. Why did you feel scared?" Alex asked her again.

Kara looked at her sister and sighed.

"Because of what this is doing to Lena. If I felt the same way, would I be feeling like she is?"

Alex shook her head.

"No. Because Lena doesn't know how you feel so she's caught in the middle, and believe me, Kara, not knowing how someone feels about you while you know how you feel about them, is the worst feeling ever."

Kara nodded her head and Alex took her hand.

"Do you also think that it scared you because it forced you to maybe think about your own feelings?"

Kara started thinking again.

Alex was patient but she thought she knew Kara's answer before she said it.

Kara and Lena were great friends, that was a fact, but sometimes when Alex would come over for their their movie nights or they met up and talked, Kara would tell Alex things about Lena that made Alex wonder just how involved Kara was with the Luthor. She would tell her something funny Lena had said, or how she would make sure that Kara had eaten properly when they were out or if she was getting enough sleep. Now and again when Kara was on the phone to Lena, she would watch her sister and see her smile brighten when she spoke to the other woman.

Alex could sometimes tell when Kara had seen Lena that day jst by the way she was. She would be happier, calmer.

Kara then took a breath, making Alex look up at her.

"I think...I think I should talk to her."

Alex nodded.

"That's good. it's a good start. What will you say?"

Kara took her hand back from Alex as she sat up straight, a small frown on her face.

"I will tell her that I love her too... but only as a friend."

Alex's heart sank.

There was no love lost between the Luthor and the other Danvers sister but still, she felt for Lena and she knew how hard the other woman would take this. She also suspected that Kara was running from her own feelings and only doing what she thought was expected of her. Her fear was holding her back. Alex recognized this in herself.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Alex asked her.

Kara nodded.

"Yeah. Alex, it's too complicated and messy. I couldn't be with Lena Luthor! I can be her friend but in a relationship? It's too-"

"Frightening?" Alex offered.

"Kind of."

"And are you sure that you don't feel the same way as her?"

"I can't- I don't. No, no I don't feel the same way as her! Alex you know me!"

Alex stood.

"I do know you, Kara. I know you well enough to know when you're running scared and this is what it looks like."

Kara frowned.

"What? No! No, Alex, I am not scared, I-"

"Yes you are! You're turning your back on what you want and what's worse, you're forcing Lena to do the same!"

"No, I'm not!"

"How else do you describe it then? Lena _loves_ you! She admitted it! You are running from your own feelings because it means change and change is a scary thing but Kara, if you love Lena it's worth it, don't you see?"

Kara looked down, annoyed that this wasn't as easy as she'd thought it would be.

She thought she could just tell Alex her decision, she'd accept it and then they could watch a movie but no, now she was forcing Kara to think about things and it was just something she didn't want to do. She couldn't even figure this out herself so how Lena was so OK with admitting it, she didn't know.

 _But she wasn't ok with admitting it, was she? She'd shut herself away, she'd been avoiding you because she couldn't handle how she felt but she told you. You made her tell you and now Alex is doing the same to you, you can't take it._

Kara sighed as her brain told her everything she already knew and was working hard not to notice.

Alex started walking towards the door.

Kara looked panicked.

"Alex? Where are you going?"

Alex turned back around.

"If you can't at least admit to yourself how you feel, I don't wanna be here."

"But Alex...movie night."

"You need to take some time, Kara. Really think this through and face your fears before hurting Lena. I know she's a Luthor and I've never really been in her corner but you have... and it's now become clear to me exactly why."

Alex turned and walked out of Kara's apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note- So something's up with the site, unless it's just me but I hope you guys are getting alerts when I upload, I try to upload at least one chapter every other day, let me know if you're still getting alerts.**

 **Anyway, will Kara be able to come to terms with her own feelings or is Lena Luthor headed for heartbreak?**

* * *

 **5**

Kara paced outside Lena Luthor's apartment. By Rao, she was nervous! More nervous than she'd ever been before.

She had heard that the Luthor still had not returned to work yet and Kara was getting a little concerned, even though she knew it was partly her fault.

She had been outside now for about half an hour. Three times she had almost walked away and then come back again.

If she wasn't careful, Lena would catch her hanging around outside and then Kara would be forced into a conversation she wasn't ready for.

She wasn't sure she was ready now but Alex was right, Lena deserved to know.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Kara raised her hand to knock.

She heard someone moving around and then complete silence.

Kara sighed, lowering her glasses to use her x-ray vision and saw Lena standing by her couch, staring at the door.

"Lena, It's Kara. Can we talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about. You've made it perfectly clear how you feel about me." Lena snapped.

Kara put her glasses back on, feeling the guilt creep over her.

"Lena, I still want to be your friend."

Nothing.

Kara sighed again and lent her head against the door.

"Lena, please...I just want to talk."

Kara stepped back when she heard a click and Lena slowly opened the door.

She didn't say anything, just stood aside to let Kara in.

Kara gave her a small smile and stepped past her into the apartment.

Lena shut the door, turned around, folded her arms and stared at Kara expectantly.

"Well?"

"Uh...OK, so when you said that you-you...you said that-"

"That I loved you." Lena cut in irritably.

 _God was it so hard for the woman to say just that one word?_ She thought, with anger coiling low inside her _._

"Yeah...when you said that."

Lena rolled her eyes.

"You can't even say it." She muttered.

Kara sighed.

"Lena, I'm sorry but it's a lot to take in. I never knew you felt that way and it...it scared me."

Lena frowned slightly.

"Why? Because someone loves you or because that someone just happens to be me?"

"Because it's you." Kara admitted.

Lena looked down and Kara fumbled to correct herself.

"No...I-I didn't mean it like that. It's just..."

"Kara, it's fine. You've told me what I already knew so you've done what you came here to do."

Lena moved back towards the door and opened it.

"Lena, I don't want to leave it like this."

"There's nothing more to say, Kara."

"I still want to be friends."

"Well I don't!" Lena shot back, her jaw tightening.

"Because I won't love you back in the way that you want me to?" Kara asked, her eyes narrowingly slightly as though the reason for this was stupid.

"Yes. I won't put myself through this again, Kara. Even for you."

Kara bowed her head, feelings tears coming.

"Is there anything I can say to make this better?" She asked as she walked past Lena and out of her apartment.

Lena nodded.

"Tell me you don't want to see me again."

Kara's lips parted.

"I-I can't do that, Lena. You're my friend."

Kara watched as tears filled the Luthor's eyes.

"Not anymore. I'm sorry, Kara..."

And with that being said, Lena shut the door.

Kara stood there, staring at it for a while.

Lena had just ended their friendship.

Were things that bad between them or was it just that Lena's feelings were too strong that she couldn't even be around Kara?

The blonde sighed as she stepped away from the door and went away.

Once she was outside the Luthor's building, she phoned Alex.

"Kara?"

"Alex, hey. I um...I spoke to Lena. She...she-" Kara stopped, feeling a catch in her throat.

"Kara?"

Kara swallowed and blinked a few times to hold back tears.

"She doesn't want to be friends anymore..."

Kara found herself sobbing into the phone.

"Kara...I'm so sorry. Do you want me to come over later and we can talk about it?"

Kara nodded.

More than anything, she needed her sister. She needed Alex to tell her that everything was going to be all right; that Lena would calm down and want to be in her life again, even if it was just as a friend. She'd meet someone who could love her and show her that Kara Danvers was not the only one out there who she could ever fall for.

At just that thought, Kara panicked.

That is exactly what could happen! Lena could meet someone else. That someone could take Lena away, and Lena would let them because Kara failed to take her chance.

Lena would be gone. She would be in love with someone else. The connection that Kara and Lena had created, would be non-existent.

"Alex, I have to call you back. But yes, I would like to see you tonight."

"Great and Kara, try not to worry. Things will work themselves out."

Kara nodded and hung up.

That was Alex's way of saying; 'you fucked up but things will be as they should be'.

Now what should she do?

* * *

Lena paced around her apartment.

She couldn't keep hiding in here. Things with her and Kara were done but that didn't mean that her life should stop.

She should get dressed, go back to work and live her life, even if Kara wasn't in it, and just that realisation made an uncomfortable feeling appear in her stomach and her heart ached.

A life without Kara.

Maybe she could be Kara's friend. No. That would be too painful.

Lena decided it was best to get out, go for a walk, do something to take her mind off of her thoughts. Maybe while she was out, she would figure something out, some way to deal with all of this.

* * *

Later that night, Alex came to Kara's apartment.

Kara fell into her sister's arms as soon as she opened the door and cried.

"Woah...hey, hey it's OK. Tell me what happened." Alex said softly as Kara pulled back and wiped her eyes under her glasses.

"I went to see her, to tell her that we could still be friends and she...Alex, she doesn't want that, and I don't know what to do."

Alex held Kara again as she started crying.

"Kara, I know you're gonna hate me for asking this again, but are you absolutely sure you don't feel the same way as Lena? I know you guys are friends but this shouldn't be affecting you this much. If anything, the Kara I know would be trying to put it right and save the friendship. But...you're just willing to let her go?"

Kara held onto Alex tightly as she cried harder.

Alex just held her until she stepped back and sniffled, still wiping at her eyes.

"I don't want to let her go, Alex." Kara sobbed.

"I know you don't but Kara...if you don't want to lose her, you have to be honest with yourself about what you want." Alex told her, being straight but soft about the choices she now had.

"If you don't feel the same as Lena then you have to respect that she can't be around you and still fell the same way she does. It's not fair to her. You have to let her go and find someone else."

"That's the thing, I don't want her to find someone else." Kara said brokenly.

"Then what do you want?"

"I want..." Kara faltered.

"Please, Kara, be honest with yourself."

Kara's eyes locked with her sister's.

"Alex, I'm so scared."

"I know you are, but not many people get the chance to be happy. If Lena makes you happy, you need to accept it."

Kara nodded in understanding.

Alex licked her lips, taking Kara's hands in her own.

"OK, so now tell me; do you love her?"

Kara nodded her head slowly.

"I do...but how can I tell her that now?"

"Just tell her you were scared but that you only want to be with her and nothing else matters. She loves you, Kara. She'll come around."

A smile touched Kara's lips.

"OK, I'm gonna call her."

Alex smiled back.

"Great. I'll put a movie on while you do that."

Kara nodded and grabbed her phone.

She was nervous and excited all at the same time.

She clicked on Lena's contact image and waited. It kept ringing. Kara expected her to ignore her calls but maybe she could leave a message.

"Kara..."

Kara turned as Alex called her name.

When she saw her sister's expression, she paused and followed Alex's gaze to the TV screen.

There was Lena.

She was making a public announcement. Right now.

The writing at the bottom of the screen didn't give much away; it just said 'LENA LUTHOR ANNOUNCEMENT'.

Kara moved to stand next to her sister and watched as Lena took the stand outside L Corp.

 _"Thank you all for coming. I am sorry to do this this evening when I'm sure you all have other places to be but I felt that I should do this now rather than spring this on everyone in the morning;"_

Kara frowned, shaking her head.

"What is she doing?"

Alex just shrugged as she listened too.

 _"I will be leaving L Corp tonight. I am going back to Metropolis and heading one of my divisions there. Being in National City has taught me a lot... about who I am, what I have over come and how strong I can actually be. I want to thank you all for giving me a chance to prove that I am not like my brother and the only thing that connects me to the Luthors is my name._

 _Thank you."_

Lena stepped down from the podium and Alex turned to look at Kara who stared at the TV screen with wide eyes.

"She's leaving because of me..." The blonde realized.

Alex couldn't disagree with that but she kept quiet.

Kara turned, grabbing her coat.

"I have to stop her."

* * *

Lena was ready to go. All she had to do was wait for her car to show up.

She would miss L Corp and National City but she couldn't stay. Not after everything that had happened.

She had decided to be picked up at L Corp instead of her apartment.

Lena walked around her office, her fingers skimming her desk and the shelves on her wall. The little safe where she had stored the alien detection device. The couch where her and Kara used to sit and talk...a lump came to the Luthor woman's throat and she turned away, her back to the doors.

"Lena?"

Lena turned around and found Kara standing behind her.

"Kara..."

"Lena, you can't leave."

Lena regained her composure and the shocked expression on her face gave way to something unreadable.

"And I suppose you have a great reason as to why." She said coldly.

Kara nodded.

"I do...actually."

Lena folded her arms and raised her chin.

"I'm listening."

Kara actually started to smile. This was right. This felt right.

"I love you...Lena."

Lena's mouth dropped open.

She had expected Kara to say something like; 'National City needs a Luthor' or 'I can't lose my friend', something meaningless like that but not this. Never had she expected this.

The Luthor stared at Kara.

She had wanted this for so long and now that Kara was telling her what she had wanted to hear, Lena couldn't believe it.

"I'm sorry, Kara but I don't believe you."

The smile instantly dropped from Kara's face.

"What?"

"I'm leaving National City and you're telling me what I want to hear to keep me here. It's not going to work, Kara. I'm leaving and that's all there is to it."

* * *

 **Author's Note- Can Kara get Lena to stay?**


	6. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

Lena answered her phone as it rang. It was her driver, telling her that he was waiting for her outside.

"I have to go." Lena told Kara as she brushed past her.

Kara grabbed Lena's arm.

"You can't leave me!"

Lena looked down at Kara's hand gripping her arm and her green eyes locked in challenge with Kara's.

"Let go of me." She said calmly.

Kara shook her head.

"No. I refuse to let the best thing that's ever happened to me, walk out of my life."

Lena sighed in annoyance.

"What do you want, Kara? Do you want me to stay here and be your friend when inside I'm wishing it was more than that? I can't do it, Kara. It's too hard."

"I don't need you to pretend with me! I just want you, Lena!"

Lena looked at the blonde.

Kara could tell just by looking at her that she still didn't believe her.

"Prove it." The Luthor said through gritted teeth, wrenching her arm free.

Kara sighed.

She knew how but that didn't mean that this was ever easy for her. If she told Lena who she really was then Lena could be the one running from her this time but still she had to prove to Lena that she meant what she said and this was a sign of trust, she knew that all too well.

Kara removed her glasses and opened her shirt, showing the Supergirl symbol underneath.

Lena stared at her, eyes wide, lips parted in pure shock; her eyes going from Kara's face to the symbol on her chest.

Kara sighed again.

"I'm Supergirl and this is my way of showing that I love and trust you. No Super has ever revealed themselves willingly to a Luthor. You are the first." She admitted.

Lena nodded in understanding but Kara could see she was still in shock.

Kara took a step closer to Lena.

"I love you, Lena. I was scared at first. That's why I ran, and I'm still scared but the thought of losing you is too much to handle. I want you to stay and I want you to stay with me."

Lena nodded her head slowly and came forward, cupping Kara's cheek and smiling into her eyes.

Tears brimmed in the Luthor's green eyes. Happy ones this time.

"Just when I thought you couldn't get anymore perfect." She whispered.

Kara chuckled lightly and Lena brought their lips together.

That spark and surge of energy built between them and Kara closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around Lena.

When they pulled apart, Lena rested her head against Kara's.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"So...does this mean you're staying?" Kara asked gently.

Lena grinned at her.

"Well I can't take Supergirl away from her city now, can I?"

Kara chuckled and kissed her again.

They then laced their fingers together and smiled into each other's eyes.

"So a Luthor and a Super together...like actually, together, together." Lena said.

Kara nodded, that smile never leaving her face.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Lena's brow creased a little.

"Just one thing, Kara..."

"Hm?"

"What about your boyfriend situation? The one you brought to dinner that time."

Kara's eyes nearly popped out of her head.

Oh crap, Mon-El!

 **END**

* * *

 **Author's Note- Hope you liked this. Ill be doing another one which focuses on a Kara/Lena/Mon-El love triangle. Thanks for all your support guys! X**


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